Sunday, March 6, 2011

Easily Discouraged

I admit, I am easily discouraged. I really "think" that I enjoy creating things... tiny outfits for the baby, appliqued t-shirts for my friend's kids, pillows, curtains, etc.. for my home. I am not so sure anymore. I never have the time to do these things alone, so I am working as fast as I can. I wind up pissed off stressed out with half-assed looking results. Nothing bugs me more than to spend the day trying to applique a t-shirt, nurse a baby, referee the two middle ones-in between baseball practices and my machine messes it up, at like 2 minutes left on the design. I am so frustrated at this point I think I am about to shut down the embroidery all together. I entertain the idea of selling all of it, daily. Not just the embroidery machine, but all of it, sewing machines, fabric, notions,basically, the whole shooting match. I think, if I did, I would save myself alot of time, frustration and money. Even quarter yards of fabric can add up quickly. I am not the type that just concentrates on one area of creating either, if it is made of cloth, I think I can make it and of course, do it cheaper. Whatever! I could buy Drew nothing but Mela Wilson outfits and probably come out ahead (her offerings are not that plentiful for boys anyway).
I find myself so aggravated, mainly with the monogramming, yet I am always looking at fabric and applique designs. Why I choose the most difficult path to take, I do not know. I think, for now, the best thing to do is, stop the monogramming madness, stop looking at fabric, and just finish the summer outfits I cut out for the baby. I am really wrestling with the idea that I really don't have time for such frivolity as a hobby, I may have too many kids. Their needs are more important that my desire to feel good at something, maybe I could try to be a good housekeeper and cook. That's a fanciful notion, I will let you know how it goes. I did finally finish the mudroom, it is nothing majorly exciting. I think I should just let it be purely functional. It just might be that my whole house is like that. I have had to let go of my pride and get help with the house months ago. I still have this ideal of how it should look in my head, hence the numerous projects. The verse in 1 Timothy 6:6 godliness with contentment is great gain comes to mind, I may need to chant this to myself or perhaps put it to music.