Sunday, March 6, 2011

Easily Discouraged

I admit, I am easily discouraged. I really "think" that I enjoy creating things... tiny outfits for the baby, appliqued t-shirts for my friend's kids, pillows, curtains, etc.. for my home. I am not so sure anymore. I never have the time to do these things alone, so I am working as fast as I can. I wind up pissed off stressed out with half-assed looking results. Nothing bugs me more than to spend the day trying to applique a t-shirt, nurse a baby, referee the two middle ones-in between baseball practices and my machine messes it up, at like 2 minutes left on the design. I am so frustrated at this point I think I am about to shut down the embroidery all together. I entertain the idea of selling all of it, daily. Not just the embroidery machine, but all of it, sewing machines, fabric, notions,basically, the whole shooting match. I think, if I did, I would save myself alot of time, frustration and money. Even quarter yards of fabric can add up quickly. I am not the type that just concentrates on one area of creating either, if it is made of cloth, I think I can make it and of course, do it cheaper. Whatever! I could buy Drew nothing but Mela Wilson outfits and probably come out ahead (her offerings are not that plentiful for boys anyway).
I find myself so aggravated, mainly with the monogramming, yet I am always looking at fabric and applique designs. Why I choose the most difficult path to take, I do not know. I think, for now, the best thing to do is, stop the monogramming madness, stop looking at fabric, and just finish the summer outfits I cut out for the baby. I am really wrestling with the idea that I really don't have time for such frivolity as a hobby, I may have too many kids. Their needs are more important that my desire to feel good at something, maybe I could try to be a good housekeeper and cook. That's a fanciful notion, I will let you know how it goes. I did finally finish the mudroom, it is nothing majorly exciting. I think I should just let it be purely functional. It just might be that my whole house is like that. I have had to let go of my pride and get help with the house months ago. I still have this ideal of how it should look in my head, hence the numerous projects. The verse in 1 Timothy 6:6 godliness with contentment is great gain comes to mind, I may need to chant this to myself or perhaps put it to music.


Scarlett said...

Sorry for your frustration! Sounds like you probably just need a break from sewing; you might have too many projects circulating in your head and hence, the overwhelmed feeling. Good thing I have several non-sewing projects I could keep you busy with! Sounds like you could use a few prayers, so I'm sending someup for you!

Jennifer Werneth said...

i'm easily discouraged, too. feel ya, girl. may God help us to be content in who He is, not in what we can accomplish! it's a constant battle of mine!